my black eye? dracula, where's leatherface? sucking off frankenstein? i like candy.

 

Two words: MEAT YETI

XXXMAS SATURDAY NIGHT! Caledonia! Athens!

Starring:
Dignity of Labour
DJ WRASSLEMANIA 25
Excalibrah and Swamp Thang
The poet Jeff Fallis as Santa
and Triple Velcro.
Be informed....
posted by kenniebloggins at 12:41 AM

 
Clipse is back and finally, somebody's givin' Popeye's it's propers.


File this shit under too fuckin' hotttt to comprehend.
posted by kenniebloggins at 10:29 PM

 
december

i sat staring absently as the child in the cart gummed a piece of toast and cooed at falling dust motes and various imaginary chimera. the thought of birth and life flickered for a moment as other heavier thoughts of death marched stolidly in a line through my mind. a poem, a puzzle - morbid musings of death and life and the significance of both danced with one another as the florid language of the story elevated my sense of being to the point of incomprehension. as a child gazes, stunned by color and light, unflinchingly at exotic and wildly shaped fish in small ponds, unable to understand the importance but paralyzed by the majesty - my brain was pinned immobile by a sweeping sense of eternity ... and the unflagging weight of the ephemeral.
posted by scarnsworth at 11:09 AM

 
When will grown fucking people finally realize that it's probably not really the best idea of tagging pics of people on facebook when the person in question is drunk as fuck and looking like a grown ass pile of shit? I fully expect a pic of me to be tagged in the next two weeks wearing fucking assless fishnet hose, sporting a strap-on, smoking a pcp joint while snorting blow off a amputee hooker wearing a pig mask. Talk about incriminating!
Seriously,
bloggins, gent.


PS: Have you ever noticed that Ludacris will cameo on some horseshit r&b as long as it the singer is hot as fuck?
posted by kenniebloggins at 2:29 AM

 
Thank you A. and J.R. Suicide for alerting me to the existence of this instant classic!


He also gets Tyrese and Robin Thicke on the track. I guess this is appropriately filed under BABY MAKING MUSIC.
posted by kenniebloggins at 2:12 AM

 
Thursday night Special courtesy of Mr. Willie Hutch. This is for all my fellas who are into romancin' their ladies on a cold night or for takin a midnight ride on a weeknight just to look out at the sad, empty streets. Or for all the sad souls just cruisin the streets aimlessly, hopin' just hopin', that some streak of luck in the form of a beautiful lady will pull up in a drop-top Chevy next to them at a stop light. This one's for all o' y'all.

posted by kenniebloggins at 10:13 PM

 
amazing


posted by scarnsworth at 12:40 PM

 
Hello blogland!

I am currently sitting cross-legged on the floor of a three-story beach house in ocean grove new jersey next to a crackling fire wearing my favorite cincinatti bengals t-shirt listening to cobra and phases group play voltage in the milky night with a cold miller lite in hand and a sweet lady napping upstairs as I type away on my personal electronic device. The salad days people!
Ive decided, however, that I can't stand the silence ... It's frightening. Difficult to actually achieve perfect silence in NYC, even in the mossy confines of my bklyn culvert, but this is... dead silent.

More later, gentle readers.
posted by scarnsworth at 5:48 PM

 
Yard Work
I was on my daily walk around my parents' neighborhood when I saw a lawn care guy doing pushups behind the lawn care truck. He did maybe 10 while his partner, who was wearing black leather gloves, knocked on a clinet's ranch-style home. The worker who wasn't involved in physical fitness at them moment turned and stared at me. He was wearing mirrored aviator glasses and his lawn care uniform. He continued to stare until his co-worker finished the pushups. A few minutes later, I turned the corner and saw a portly lawn care worker blowing pine straw from a driveway out into the street. Then, he waddled into the street and blew the pinestraw all the way across the street into another yard. I nodded briefly and continued my saunter around the neighborhood. When I came back around the block, there were no lawn care workers to be seen.
posted by kenniebloggins at 5:56 PM

 

I know I posted this last year, but it's so amazing, I just had to do it again. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Remember, this year there will be no leftovers!
posted by kenniebloggins at 5:56 PM

 

This may be the greatest book written about the greatest American who ever whipped the shit out of Halley's Comet. Good Thanksgiving read for all true Americans.
posted by kenniebloggins at 10:42 PM

 

posted by scarnsworth at 5:54 PM

 

KENNIEBLOGGINS SPORTS WEEKEND!
I'm off to Tuscaloosa to see this guy on the left get his Heisman run on!
And I can't wait to see this big guy, but, hell, who can miss him?

posted by kenniebloggins at 6:43 PM

 
How long it gonna take a man to move to Atl?
posted by kenniebloggins at 12:02 AM

 
RAVERS UNITE!!!!!!

SMOGGO and fam attack NYC at this event with support from SCARNSWORTH! Results to follow later!!!!!
posted by kenniebloggins at 7:03 PM

 
THe hall outside my apartment smells like a dirty diaper. Seriously so. Today, while enjoying my late afternoon walk at the track near my house I experienced a situation that can be somewhat nervewracking if one allows it to be. Dusk was in its late stages and I had just been conversing with my father via cell phone for the past 45 minutes when I felt a particular presence of the non-human variety, a swelling of the earth, an invisble growth that would just rise from the grass infield and engulf me. I realized at that moment that I was completely alone and, if the invisible growth did engulf my person, that I would be identified as missing and no one would ever know what happened to me. I would become a mystery, a nonentity and perhaps even part of the swelling infield. Instead of panicking, I sauntered aimlessly around the track to finish my final lap. Then I went back to the safety of my apartment where I discovered the hallway smelling of soiled diapers.
posted by kenniebloggins at 11:14 PM

 
fetish!

hello blogland! the guys over at cracked have compiled a list of some of the greatest fetishes in the world! i'm sure most of you readers have one if not all of these predilictions, but it's good to see that others are right there with you in the same boat! take a clickety click and see for yourselves.
posted by scarnsworth at 6:18 PM

 
HEY EVERYONE IN BLOGLAND! I'M BACK!!


posted by scarnsworth at 7:46 AM

 

Super Dave ruled!
posted by kenniebloggins at 12:33 AM

 
More costume ideas, continued...
AA: Raver!!!!
BB: Crockett from Miami Vice
CC: Member of Brokencyde
DD: The cover of The Catcher in The Rye
EE:A raw oyster
FF: an Amazing!
gg: Sherlock Holmes


I'm leaning in the direction of Shriner or Raver, to be quite honest.
posted by kenniebloggins at 12:23 AM

 
My keys were lost for about an hour this evening. Missed the gym because they were hiding under a t-shirt. I did discover what lurk beneath my sofa cushion is horror movie worthy, though. So, I guess the search was a bit fruitful. I need to be more excited about Halloween. I still haven't decided upon a costume, though I was sold on the idea of dressing as a Shriner for a while. Here are a few costume ideas. Please help me decide which to choose.
A: A Shriner
B: Chuckie
C: A can of Miller Lite
D: A bottle of Thousand Island dressing
E: A Cheeseburger
F: Uncle Jessie from Full House
G: Paul Blart Mall Cop
H: The Hamburglar, again
I: Jack Nicholson from Wolf
J: Bear Bryant
K: Jar Jar Binx
L: A chicken wing
m: A Hooters girl
n: A quaalude
o: Nature Boy Ric Flair
p: That little kid from Let the Right One In (the boy)
q: Richie Tennenbaum
R: The Shoney's Big Boy
S: The little girl from Poltergeist
T: A California Raisin
U: Santa Claus
V: That nerdy kid from The Gate
w: Wasabi
x: Qbert
Y: Jello
Z: Chet at the end of Weird Science
posted by kenniebloggins at 10:48 PM

 
Blair Witch 2, essentially...
Paranormal (Activity) was pretty awesome, but it basically relies on the same formula of waiting for scary things to happen that Blair Witch Project did. However, more scary things do happen and the ending is awesome. I imagine the movie cost like 5k to make and has already grossed 20 plus million. Go see it for realz.

Watched The Strangers again with my friend last night. It was better the second viewing, but still annoyed me because it furthers the stereotype that white people are always up for investigating a problem when the motherfuckers should be fleeing like hell.
Ditto for the boyfriend in Paranormal (Activity). Douchebag got what he deserved.

I'm all about some scary shit right now, for it is the season for such things. Apparently there is a haunted bridge close to my house. Contemplating a drive out there to witness the ghost kid riding a bike or the hanged black dude or the dead woman in the flowing gown. If there are any takers (i.e. Smoggo) just let me know...
posted by kenniebloggins at 5:34 PM

 
Y'all can't block this shine!


Shout outs to V103 and Dehumid's facebook for already dropping this one for my listenin' pleasure. This is another great one from Sir Lucious Leftfoot with some Gucci tossed in, cuz you know, it's all about Gucci in 2009.
Aye!

And weather doesn't only happen in Ga...




Also, it's been a great couple of weeks spending a few days in New Orleans with the friend and a couple in Atl. Headed back to work this week with visions of top-tier teaching, especially after a new co-worker told me and the dept head that "they actually read in her class," thus implying that my class, which encounters three times the literature that her class reads and is three units ahead of hers, doesn't really read. Well, this week we tackled a few sonnets, (Petrarch, Shakespeare, Ronsard), Boccacio's "The Tale of the Falcon," and excerpts from Don Quixote, which kind of blew their minds and bored some students into submission. Good times, though. Here is a rundown of some awesomeness encountered during Fall Break '09.
A: Neil Hamburger, Elf Power, Elf Power and Vic Chesnutt, Scott Spillane and Nana Grizol at Orange Twin: This was the best of Neil Hamburger, to say the least. Perfect weather, combined with drunkenness and rockin shows hearkening back to the late 1990s made for an awesome evening.
B: Sauce's wedding at the VFW in Athens. This was the first Fall wedding I've ever attended during which football watching was allowed at the bar. The Athens VFW rules, both as a wedding venue and in general, and the wedding itself, replete with heartfelt, emotional toasts, was a totally badass event. Also, the pork sliders were beyond exceptional. Congrats to Sauce and Anna.
C: Not the ride to New Orleans. Rain for 5 hours of an 8 hour trip sucks. Eating at DQ on the way did not, but the Pumpkin Pie Blizzard was a bit much for my taste.
d: Olivier's on Decatur Street in New Orleans. This may now be my favorite restaurant in the world. Amazing Creole food. We ate their twice for lunch and it was the only restaurant that I remembered from my last visit.
e: Cafe Du Monde: I know this is the touristy shit, but it seems that New Orleans will point you in a direction to tear it up, regardless of whether it is coffee or Hurricanes. Seriously, the stereotypical coffee and beignets is so worth a visit that it's like you haven't been there if you don't do the damn thing.
f: Hustler Club: J/K LOLZ
g: Big fuck you to the parking lot on the corner!
h: Big ups to Harrahs for letting peeps park for free just for getting a card and playing for 30 minutes. Great deal for a city with a tough parking situation.
i: Pat O Brien's. Obviously, it's the most famous bar in New Orleans. Also, it is just fucking cool. I wasn't into the crowd at the piano bar, though. Looked like they all stepped off a cruise ship.
j: Mollys!
k: The little deli/cafe on Royal Street that totally bucked the New Orleans vibe and serves awesome comfort food. Can't remember the actual name, but we ate there twice.
l: Chartres House restaurant: Really cool bartenders, good food, according to my travel compainion "the best bloody mary ever."
m: My new jacket and shoes at the New Orleans Urban Outfitters. Bot are school colors.
n: Finally finding Frenchman Street. Really awesome street that seems like it is where the service industry/musicians hang out. Could be anywhere, but way cooler because it's New Orleans.
o: The Saints: Man, when you step foot in New Orleans, it's like you just got pulled into a bro hug with Drew Brees and Reggie Bush and Charles Grant just ordered the party. They love the Saints to no end, and, kind of dislike Atl., due to the rivalry. If I was not a Falcons fan, I would totally pull for the Saints. I wanna go to the game at the Dome in December,,,
p: Last weekend, witnessed the Little 5 Points Halloween Parade. Total Suckass except for the North Atlanta HS marching band. totally un-kid-friendly, which defeats the purpose of parades.
q: First Dekalb Flea Market experience: Honestly, my mind was blown by this adventure. I will be a repeat customer.
r: Saw Where the Wild Things Are: I agree with the criticisms that this is not a kids movie, but I really enjoyed it. Probably could have left Dave Eggers out of the mix, though no hatred is thrust upon Mr. Memoir from Sir Bloggins. Just sayin...
S: Purchased New Orleans Funk Vol. 2 (Soul Jazz) after my trip. OMG!!!!!!
T: The Tide just continues to roll. I just wanna fucking give Mark Ingram a hug. Shout out to Mark Barron, too. The defense just keeps on lookin' awesome.
u: I had a dozen raw oysters, a big bowl of lobster bisque, a pbr tall boy and a Caesar salad at the Steamhouse Pub On West Peachtree yesterday. Bill was under $20 and everything was great.
v: I think I may be a Shriner for Halloween.
sinc,
bloggins, gent.
q:
posted by kenniebloggins at 10:27 PM

 

Waka Flocka Flame!
FLOCKA!!!

And here's what the cool kids down South listen to...

Travis Porter are straight catchy, to say the least.
posted by kenniebloggins at 11:51 PM

 

So whatever happened to Future Man?
posted by kenniebloggins at 9:52 PM

 
Overheard while walking

Little kid from porch: Hey, old man, hey guy, hey you.
I turn around and glance.
Little kid: That's right old man, hey you...
posted by kenniebloggins at 1:47 PM

 
A few random notes:

A: I think Entourage is doing a semi-swan dive this season. I still watch, but it's neither as fun or as interesting as it was in seasons past.
b: I spent last week with my residence under a flood watch of sorts. The lofts in which I dwell were featured prominently on Anderson Cooper's CNN show after the river peaked at 22 feet or some shit. The supposedly correct term is "crested" but I'll just use the layman's term "peaked."
C: Spent the first portion of last week hung over and with some sort of non hangover related stomach ailment. Wednesday, we didn't have work due to flooding, and I injured my bicep at the gym while doing pullups. Friday, I woke up with a sore throat and spent the weekend with a sinus infection. Minus about 6 hours on Wednesday, this is the best I've felt in 8 or so days.
D: Got a ticket last Wednesday during my day off for not wearing my seatbelt. I was six blocks from my house. HORSE SHIT!
E: I'm trying to find the part of last week's Entouragee episode where the Still Flyin' song is playing? Any help will be greatly appreciated.
F: I broke down Saturday and bought an LG 47-inch flat screen. Had to return the first one due to manufacturer's defect, and with the help of Smoggo, I was able to have it all set up yesterday. So far, I am pleased, to say the least.
G: The Tide be rollin'.
(to be continued)...
sinc,
bloggins, gent.
posted by kenniebloggins at 8:39 PM

 

This weekend was another one for the annals to say the least. Probably a lil too much drinking and socialization with the homies overload for two plus days, but it was awesome. Enjoy the Masters like it's 2000, but my overall constitution definitely tells me it's not 2000 any more.
posted by kenniebloggins at 5:59 PM

 

Solid B ( A for violence)!
posted by kenniebloggins at 5:53 PM

 
i remember your excitement
choosing pictures for your wall
and now you see them all so often
you hardly see them at all.
posted by scarnsworth at 3:00 AM

 
legalize life


posted by scarnsworth at 3:45 PM

 
it's hard to think.
posted by scarnsworth at 8:44 PM

 
Sometimes it's time to melt into whateverness, and sometimes it's time for SWV. And that time is nigh!

posted by kenniebloggins at 10:42 PM